1,825 days later

At long last, after weeks of television documentaries and seemingly endless news segments, the five year anniversary of September 11th has arrived and I sort of don't know how I feel. My memories are no longer vivid and fresh, but they often come to the surface of my mind throughout the day. They center around the fact that I watched the footage of the first plane for a few minutes and then turned off Katie Couric's commentary just moments before the second plane hit. I went about my business that day thinking about that strange plane crash in New York, having no idea that we were in the midst of a terrorist attack. I remember buying gas for an ungodly 1.59 a gallon and picking up a USA today in the MSU bookstore the following Wednesday morning. Five years has dulled immeasurable grief into a mild sadness whenever I call up these memories.

And today? I turned on the Today show this morning because I always want to see the day's news headlines at the top of the hour. Instead I got the live coverage of the ceremony at Ground Zero. Just like five years ago, this story is the only story. It reminds me of the way that Princess Diana's death in 1997 overshadowed the passing of Mother Theresa just a day or two later. Several days after 9-11, I knew life was beginning to show signs of normal when I heard a weather report on the radio. It stood out so loudly against the relentless descriptions of the most tragic stories one could imagine. A woman loses her husband in the south tower, five months pregnant with triplets. Another decides to go into work on his day off and dies when the towers collapse. Others choose to jump out the windows to escape the fire from the plane crash. The stories were apalling, sickening and you couldn't escape them. But part of me felt like I had to listen, that it was the least that I could do. I was hundreds of miles away, safe and sound, beginning my senior year in college. When I heard that weather report as I sat at a traffic light, I was stunned. It was something mundane, something familiar. For me, it was a moment when the events of 9-11 began to slip from the here and now and into our country's history. My grandparents' generation had Pearl Harbor. My parents' had the Kennedy assassination. My generation will carry memories of September 11 whenever the next tragedy stops this nation in its tracks.

It amazes me how quickly this country returned to some state of normal in the weeks after 9-11. Those far removed from the tragedy went on about their lives while those deeply affected are forever altered by it. To me, today is just another day. I'll probably set two or three diamonds at work this afternoon and deal with an angry customer since I'm in charge again this week. I'll listen to Jim Croce in the car and sing along even though I might get strange looks from other drivers. And when I get home from work I'll unwind with a bag of Reese's Pieces and a Star Trek rerun. All in all, just your average, forgettable day. Compared to the kind of day we all went through five years ago, "average" and "forgettable" sounds pretty good.