i'll take potpourri for 800, alex.

"A 48 hour ritual consisting of vegetating in a papasan chair, eating most of a chocolate cake, and spending vast amounts of time in front of TiVo."

BUZZ!

"What is...Amanda's weekend?"

Yeah, I know you're jealous. Don't hate.

No really, this weekend rocked. No leaving the house except for church and IHOP, no doing what anyone else wanted (much to Jonathan's chagrin), no visit to Wal-Mart. This weekend was pure greatness.

I moved my beloved papasan chair into the living room because I was not fully enjoying its cuddly dogbed-ness in our junk room. I plopped down in it and watched one of those uber-creepy documentaries about polygamy. I still do not know why women in these "plural marriages" seem to be required to have this trashy 80s hair with the foufy bangs atop a bad home perm. Maybe all four of that guy's wives add up to one hot one or something.

Perhaps watching those four women on TV cheerfully maintaining a house with a kazillion kids made me feel domestic. So I made this oreo cookie gooey cake bake thing I accidentally bought last week. And perhaps seeing their fat disgusting husband at the dinner table inspired me to eat most of it. Heh.

Day off work. Husband not home. Oh, the indescribable joy.

Jonathan eventually came home and we went from one extreme to the other. I don't even remember what we were watching on Comedy Central (probably something inappropriate for a nice girl like me) but we start getting bombarded with one of those GIRLS GONE WILD commercials. Okay, whatever. I'm not threatened or anything. A guy I knew in college had one of those videos and he popped it in while I was at his house one day. It was pathetic. No music or dialogue or anything. Just some 19 year-old hiking up her tube top with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. And then they show the same thing again in slow-mo. So that's how those creeps can sell them for $9.99 a pop. Anyway. This commerical is just about the worst I've seen. Even for cable! Sheesh! I will not describe most of what I saw since my mother reads this but EWWWWWW! And instead of using the traditional black bar to censor whatever body part is hanging out, they put up ORDER NOW!!! in big pink lettering. Oh and they somehow got some naked girls to float around in what appears to be zero gravity. Nice. After about five or so showings of that particular promo, I had to start changing the channel or leave the room. Call me a prude, I don't care.

I think there must be some connection between the "sister wives" I was learing about on A&E and the GGW chicks. Plural wives MUST have bad hair and drunk girls MUST stick their tongues out when they flash the camera. Hmmmmm. Perhaps some instinct buried deep in the female psyche. Maybe they should all get together and talk. We'd end up with POLYGAMISTS GONE WILD and COEDS GONE PLURAL.

Now I'd pay $9.99 to see that.

See? The weekend rocked. I can be ridiculous if I wanna.

Jonathan just read what I wrote and thought this weekend sucked big time because we didn't do anything "fun". He frequently calls me No Fun Amanda or Grump-Grump. Where there is fun, I seek it out and destroy it. Of course, he calls going to Cabela's or Bass Pro Shop fun. Or driving the truck to some BFE town out in the middle of nowhere fun. Or dragging me to a gun show fun. Well, I don't mind Cabela's if we're buying something, drives in the country are nice when gas ISN'T 2.89 a gallon, and gun shows are just lovely when I'm not present.

I don't know what he's whining about. Mmmmmmm...don't care. He's off every weekend and I'm not, so I'm not exactly sympathetic. I think I'll go enjoy the remainder of my day off by hogging all the covers on the bed and trying to avoid that XXX commercial. Wish me luck.